Shake Shack (Madison Sq Park)

This place is the truth. It's everything a burger shack should be. They have delicious burgers, shakes, hot dogs, and a few other goodies too. The only downside to this place is the insane line you have to stand in to get your feed on. We went on an overcast day when it had rained for a few minutes then stopped. The line was tiny and it took us 20 minutes to get up to the counter. We tried to go to Shake Shack another time (before bailing and resorting to the ill fated Molly's) and the line was easily 3 times as long.

The burger is very simple. It has cheese and a bun. The bun is nothing special. The cheese is standard american cheese. But the burger! My god it's a tasty goddamn piece of meat. The fries are crinkle-cut and maybe double fried. They are crispy and delicious and salted perfectly.

Shiva is a crazy bastard and ordered a cheeseburger, hot dog, cheese fries, vanilla concrete (insane milkshake) and a beer. He looked uncomfortable but also very happy after his experience; almost like he climbed the highest mountain in all the land (or some other momentous victory).

Go to shake shack but be prepared for the wait. Rest assured it's worth it. 90/100

Landmarc

Landmarc is a decent restaurant (I suppose) with a decent burger (I suppose). Was it bad? Certainly not. Was it good? Sure. Do I care? No. Will I go back? No. Is this review over? Yes.

Pauls

This place is over in the East Village and is a shit hole......I really wanted to like this place, it too was highly recommended on a few sites and from people I know......but what can I say the waitress was in her 50's going on 70 with a coke habit, nothing like watching her run around the place snorting like crazy and fucking up our orders....all burgers done medium and the wrong buns......

This place needs a through cleaning and management that actually cares.......clean house and it has the potential to be something........

Wait for a change on management and don't waste your time going here.

Landmarc

Ok, I've been lagging with writing these reviews......I feel like a rookie and have no one to blame but myself.......anyway here it goes.......

This place is located in Tribeca and is overrated by many bloggers and reviewers.....in my humble opinion......basically nice place, nice bathroom, blah burger.....nothing that knocks your socks off.....ok but nothing great....i'm looking for great......that's about all I have to say.

Paul's Burgers (near Union Sq.)

This place is TERRIBLE. It is completely over-hyped and doesn't deserve any of the good things people say about it. The burger is completely bland. The fries are godawful. The idea of the place is really good but they execute it very very poorly. Our server went into the bathroom to do some blow then came over to our table and started talking to us like a crazy person. She was saying things like "wow! you're a hungry one today aren't ya hon?", "you all set honey-bunny?" and the like. She was probably 45 and should have stopped doing drugs a long time ago. Her nose was either inside-out or upside-down or both. This is the worst place so far. 49/100 FAIL

Landmarc in Tribeca

This place was pretty good, but not great. The best thing at this place is they cook the burgers on a grill you can see from the dining area. The burger was good but not memorable. I will probably completely forget this place exists within 30 seconds. Oh, and the server was a total douche. 65/100

Bar Artisanal

Bar Artisanal might be the one. This, dear reader, is precisely why this society is formed. Expectations were low. The large, designy dining room was empty, save for the masses of staff milling about. What few customers were there were not of our ilk; the hostess hemmed and hawed about seating us without a reservation. A few minutes at the bar and she managed to locate one of the dozens of empty tables for us. Dressed like the dickheads we are, we received shockingly good service from the bar, the waitstaff, the bus boys and whatever else the throngs of staff are. It's a new restaurant, we figured, it's empty we figured, they can't afford not be all over us, we figured. But, before eight, it was pretty packed, and although this would normally upset me greatly, it pleases me to know that they will almost certainly be around for a while.

Boasting a cheesebar that, um, has a helluva lot of fancy cheese that I know nothing about this was an atypical experience for burger club. They also had fried cheese, I know a little something about that. You can pick any of the cheesebar cheeses to cheeseup your burger.

The burger is fantastic. This is a burger you could eat with a wooden spoon and no teeth. The goddamn thing just melts in your mouth. This burger is as close to perfection as I have seen. I lost my score card, and I don't care, because it scored high, very high. I think the only category that it didn't score hgih was the "giving me three burgers so I can keep eating them" category which I just made up. It a month ago and I'm actualy salivating right now. The fries were great, delicious, crispy and just the right amount of a little too much salt.

For the last three burger club adventures all three of us, at some point, have said, "Let's just go back to Bar Artisinal." Good golly that was a good burger.

Bar Artisanal (Bar Art Is Anal)

This week we visited bar artisanal......which when originally suggested I thought it was some sick trendy art show or something......but I digress.......this establishment is located just south of canal near west broadway......it is a new place and looks very trendy......because of this I had the usual thoughts.....overpriced and not going to get good service or a good burger for that matter..........boy was I wrong on all counts.......

This place is awesome.......the burger cooked to order, awesome all I can say is awesome.....the bun I had small issue with, don't get me wrong it was delicious but kind of had some issues with it but not enough to worry about (I'm being too picky here).......the meat was awesome the fries were very crisp and needed no salting.........in a new twist we were allowed to choose any cheese from the cheese menu (yes there was a cheese menu) to put on our burgers......this was an unexpected delight........also we broke a small rule and had some apps olives and fried cheese......delicious........

The decor of the place is nice the bathrooms are clean and plentiful ...... I thought this place would not have a shot to remain opened because its so big but it was full by the time we left......

Whats more to say.......to top it off they were playing "Gigantic" by the Pixies while I was in the bathroom.......total class........this place gets a high 85 out of 100 despite the poor name choice.

Bar Artisinal

This place is so sweet you guys. There are lots of reasons why. The place is really nice and expensive looking. The female staff members are putting on a show and they look good. I guess the dudes are probably good at their jobs too, but who cares. In addition to the scenery, the food is really really good. If you keep the drink count low and just stick to burgers it's not very expensive either. I think I ranked it 82/100 but I lost my scorecard and am writing this review about a month late, but 82/100 makes sense.

The fried cheese thingies are delicious. Make sure you order some and make sure you dip them in the seasalt and pepercorns that are part of the delivery presentation. The burger is delicious and is clearly made by somebody who knows what he/she is doing. The same is true about the fries, they are crispy, delicious and salted perfectly.

I don't remember anything else about the place a month later, but the name deserves special attention. I mean, who in their right mind would name a restaurant "Bar Art is Anal." It makes you look ridiculous.

Sheep Station (THEY'VE GOT POUTINE)

For you poor culturally deficient bastards who don't know what poutine is: a heap of fries covered in cheese curds and smothered in gravy. It hails from Quebec, unlike juggling (Quebec's other notable cultural artifact), it isn't stupid, it isn't paid for by the government and almost no one outside of Canada knows what it is where to find it. There are a few places in New York that will indulge my poutine desire, all of which seem to be (at least) co-owned by a Canadian.

The poutine was not the only culinary curiosity. The burger came with a slew of exotic toppings, a beet, pineapple slice, and a fricken fried egg. I thought they were optional. I was extremely upset to find an egg dropped across my delicious burger, but, due to my otherwise calorie deficient meal (poutine+ several black and tans), I felt I should eat the burger, as presented, with the fired egg. You know, for health. And it was good. Fried eggs on foods have never applied to me (in France, they served pizza with a barley cooked egg on top, they called it "Le Cyclopse" (that's french for The Cyclops)). Anyhoo, all those things on the burger? Delicious. The burger? Delicious. The poutine? Didn't you read the first bit?! Delicious.

It's unfortunate that I lost my scorecard, because they'd get a pretty good score. This is not the best burger I've had on my magical journey, but it does have the most interesting toppings, and for christ's sake they have poutine. The beers were great, the black and tans poured perfectly and a large selection of Quebecois beers available. They even had a beer float! A scoop of vanilla ice cream in a goblet of La Terrible (French for The Terrible). Can you even imagine? A beer float!

Some burger joint in Park Slopeish aka Sheep Station

This will be another short and sweet review......the burger was good and was ordered with poo teen (no idea how to spell this but you get the picture)......this was my first experience with poo teen and I have to say it was very much loved (what's not to love about french fries covered with gravy and curdled cheese.....so far so good.....they had guinness on tap and I decided to go for a black and tan....a tasty treat.....

Now the burger is good the fries awesome and a good beer......where the night started to go wrong was when my two northerners decided the poo teen was such a hit to try other great white north items.......beers.......so straying from the black and tans and moving to some of our northern neighbors beers............don't do this ......... they basically all tasted like rusty water......all of them.....they were let down and convinced me to try a beer shake ........ this too was a let down......ever sense the bailey ache (a drink invented at one of our last stops) one just can't compete with a dessert of such quality.......

Overall I give this establishment a solid 77 out of 100.....if you are from the great north you will find this a great place to revisit some of your lost beers and sides......if you're from here stick to the fries.........

Sheep Station in Park Slope Brooklyn

This place is awesome. I've been here before but this is the first time I ordered the burger. Normally I just order many many beers and eat a Poutine. Poutine, for those who are woefully ignorant of the best barfood in the world, is made from twice fried french fries, cheese curds, and gravy. OK I know it sounds fucked up, but I assure you that after you eat it at 3 in the morning after drinking for 12 hours, you will tell me that I'm totally right and should probably get a medal for telling you about it. Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine

The staff at this place know their beer very well and maintain their equipment and kegs flawlessly. The result is that all bears taste crisp, fresh and delicious. A welcome change from the norm. They have several kinds of strong Canadian beer that I really like to have the option of ordering. It was really funny to convince Shiva to order the beer float made from Terrible (a 10.5% dark belgian style beer). He hated it and it was funny to see his face cringe when he took sips of the beverage. I ordered the float a week earlier and really liked it after mixing the ice cream in well.

The Burger was really great. They put a fried egg on it which is a little unusual, but it totally worked. The burger itself was delicious and cooked exactly medium, as I requested.

The really great thing about this place was that I live 5 blocks away and I could go home and lay down immediately after we finished.

Overall Score: 80/100

Zaitzeff

It is a complete mystery to me how this could possibly make it on anyone's top ten list. Unless, I suppose, that top ten is is over-rated burger joints with weird locations, peculiar table configurations and no bathrooms, but I strongly doubt that. Putting Zaitzeff on your top ten list is criminal. You are not doing your job, so I need to eat more burgers. My scorecard totaled a measly 52.

The burger, frankly, was not very good. It was quite large, spilling out over the english muffin is was precariously wrapped in. The burger was overcooked, "we do everything medium". The fries were plentiful, and the mix of sweet potato with yukon gold is nice, but they were soggy and unsatisfying. Although advertised as Kobe beef, it was bland, uninteresting and suspiciously reminiscent of the bad bits of the cow.

The location did not help, the entire front was open to a particularly unappealing corner in new york. Although I was not brave enough to venture to the bathroom, I understand it was a complete disaster. The staff claimed they didn't have a bathroom, "but you can...." and trailed off pointing up the starts. I think you have to sneak past people chopping stuff and spreading swine flu.

The beer selection was small, but very cold, so that was great.

Sweet holy moses this place sucks.

Zaitzeff

Here's the background......I was very hungry and didn't want to take the subway to midtown......so we opted for something near our work.......Zaitzeff was an establishment that fit this description and had received props from various other reviewers sooooooo.............

The best thing about Zaitzeff was its location to us and the fact that they had beer readily available......after that they went down hill.......where even to begin......beer....not many.....bathrooms......not for the public but we could use (?)...pickles.....none.....fries......pre-made and sitting out.......Kobe burger.....(yeah I fell for that whatever meat it was for 15.50) .......cooked to order...no only cooked one way (which was not told to us when we ordered)....juiciness since was not cooked they way I wanted.....was lacking..bun nothing there......condiments......yeah I think that was salt but was half rice and couldn't be shaken out of the shaker no matter how hard I tried.....fucking ketchup, right, that is apparently some unattainable commodity that only a few people were lucky enough to stumble upon..

Anyway I think you get the picture......this place is a hole in the wall and I can't understand why anyone would give this a good review yet alone place it on the top of the list.......overall rating a 41.

Zaitzeff

This place sucks hardcore. Don't waste any time going here. Go to Wendy's across the street for more value and better fries and condiments.

The Good:

They gave me a lot of fries (which was actually bad because the fries were shitty). The beer was served out of an ice bucket so it was cold and delicious. That is all.


The Bad:

There are three tables in the place. They don't have a public bathroom (they get a few points for letting me use the staff's bathroom upstairs, but come on). They only make burgers medium, which was okay for me, but sucks if you like your burger all juicy and shit. They didn't give me a pickle. They only had a few beers to pick from and only one of them was any good (Negra Modello). It was expensive. All their salt shakers were full of old rice and I couldn't properly salt my fries (which didn't come with ANY salt on them).

Overall Score: 35/100

Bobby Van's

Bobby Van's. Why the hell would you name a steakhouse this? Oh well. We walked in to the main restaurant area as opposed to the burger joint/bar they keep downstairs (it was busy with a private party). We were greeted by some guy who took my name and promised a table as soon as the rest of our party arrived. We had several drinks and then the guy delivered on his promise of a table.

I had a bunch of screwdrivers because I was getting sick. Let me tell you they were amazing until I found out they were $13. But since that didn't happen until we got the bill, it was all good.

I think the wait staff was a little upset that riff-raff like us were in their nice steakhouse wearing our shitty clothes, drinking beers and ordering burgers. That being said, the burgers were fucking awesome. The fries were fucking awesome. The fried onion bits were fucking awesome. The pickle was ok. The bun was fucking terrible. The service was really good despite our party not being their target clientelle.

This place is expensive. Be prepared. I gave it a really good score because the only bad things in my opinion were the cost and the bun. 85/100

Bobby Van's

A strong showing from a steakhouse. Not the type of place the Cheeseburger is used to, nor the type of society the place is used to. Expecting overpriced, and underperforming, I think we were all pleasantly surprised. I scored Bobby Van's at 77.

The burger was just enormous. Served with a giant pile of fries and fried onions. I love onion rings and fried onions, and this was the first place to serve them split by default. I like that. There was a bottle of their own steak sauce on the table. It was tasty, but a little on the sweet side and too runny to be very practical. No mustard was provided (none asked for though).

The burger was extremely high quality and cooked perfectly. Really good beef that is nice an pink in the middle is a luxury indeed. This may have been the largest burger we have encountered. It baffles me that they would insult such a fine ball of beef with a bun so terrible. Not only was the bun boring, generic and uninteresting, but it couldn't hold the damn thing together. This was very frustrating, by simply improving the bun, the whole experience would have been much better.

The bathrooms feature what must be the greatest paper towels every created. I would wear clothing made out of these.

We brought a guest on our adventure this week, a first for the Cheeseburger society. Turns our our guest pees like he's in grade two. Kevin started by asking us boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Results were mixed. Then he asked us over or through the hole in your underwear designed expressly to pull your penis through for urinating. Results were unanimous (except of course for our child-in-disguise). After much screaming and dirty looks from well to do patrons, Kevin attempted to convince us that he went over because briefs don't have the hole. When we demanded he show us his skivvies, he obliged. Naturally, the hole was right fucking there. Three grown men in a steakhouse pointed at his crotch demanding to know what that was, "a decorative pattern," he replied. What an idiot.

Bobby Vans

Short and to the point today......thought this was going to be overpriced and ok.......was wrong, burger was quite good only problem was the bun was lacking relative to the burger......maybe the cleanest bathrooms ever visited.....the fries where actually a combo of onion ring pieces (I say this because they weren't the whole onion ring) and fries......I am actually more of a fry guy than an onion so I would have liked to have more of the fries but such is life....

The atmosphere was typical steak house....and being right next to the NYSE made it all the more full of assholes in suits but we where treated pretty good.....although I don't think our waiter was too pleased with four of us all ordering burgers...........

Any how this establishment rates at a pretty high 76 despite my initial reservations...........

I Want a Black Iron Burger

This review is late, late, late. That's a shame, because the burger was great, great, great. With a score of 78.5, Black Iron Grill is makes a burger that you want to eat, and I want to eat another. A nice variety of craft beers are available - we were each recommended a different beer, and no one strayed for the course of the meal. The place was smallish and could surely get crowded, but our food arrived quickly and disappeared quickly.

The burger is a flat patty, unlike the aritsanal burgers you see in so many "good" burger joints. The patty is very tasty, and served as ordered, medium rare is medium rare and I like that. The bun, although a good brioche, seemed a little large, the double burger looked perfect. After I downed my burger, I was left wanting more. Maybe that's because it was just so good, but again, the double burger looks like the order to order.

The fry count was a little too responsible for my taste, I wanted more. Again, that could simply be because they are just very good, crispy and very well seasoned. Two types of mustards and seemingly uncountable ketchup bottles lined the walls. This was the first outting in which we each had our own ketchup bottle (we could have each had thirty).

Overall I was very satisfied. I would gladly reccomend Black Iron Burger. Get the double bacon burger. That may make me a glutton, but you're reading about cheeseburgers on the internet.

BLACK IRON BURGER

After last weeks shit show (literally for one of our group) I was eager to get back on track in pursuit of the perfect burger.......with score cards in hand we cabbed it to the lower east side establishment of Black Iron Burger.......a small pub with an old establishment feel to it........the service was good and the noise level was a non issue......the bathroom, as nice as the old wood was, had a very pissy smell to it and was only one room so it was a good thing the place was not crowded at all......on to the food and drink.....

The drink selection was nice (although they didn't have any type of guinness).....a different beer was suggested to each of us and since we all stayed with the original selection throughout the night they were right on target.......the burger was great......nice staytogetherness......juicy but not too much as to ruin the bun and medium-rare was medium rare......the bun was good as well.......the only thing to note is my one companion and I ended up splitting a second burger......after seeing another patron eating the double patty.....that would have been the perfect call......the fries were tasty as well although a bit on the low count......pickles......just one wedge.......not happy about that.....the condiments were plentiful if you just wanted 57 and mustard.......


This establishment was awarded a 79.5 on my rating scale out of a possible 100........overall a strong showing, I would place this little burger pub in the top 5 so far if not in the top 3.......

Black Iron Burger

This place is great. They have an good ambiance, very helpful and friendly wait staff, and most importantly, awesome food.

The burger was cooked exactly to order (well done after my problems last week) and was delicious. The bun was pretty good. The fries were very crispy and tasty. The only problem with the burger was that it was a touch small. The guy at the next table had the right idea by ordering the double burger.

The beer selection was a little obscure but the waitress asked each member of the party what they liked and we all ended up with beers we were happy with.


Overall score 78/100

Molly's Shebeen

Driven away by the 45+ minute lineup at Shake Shack we strolled a few blocks away to our backup: Molly's Shebeen. Molly's makes the believable claim that it's the most traditional Irish bar in New York. The selection of beer, although limited, is certainly very Irish and very delicious.

It's a dark, cavernous bar, you need to go down a few steps to enter. The few lights there are are orange. The floor is covered sawdust. This is strange. Regulars perch on the bar swilling back pints of Kilkenny's, Guinness, Harp and Smithwick's.

The service was very prompt, and the food delivered quickly. The burger was quite large, I suspect bigger than the 10 oz. they describe on the menu. It took a few bites to overcome my fears of an overcooked burger, but it was quite juicy and pink in the center (although hard to tell through what little orange lighting there was). The burger did have quite a well-done crust though, a bit peculiar, but it did lock in the beefiness, the juices and the flavor. The burger did not stay together well, an attribute that gets more and more important with each burger I attempt to stuff in my gullet. It was a surprisingly beefy tasting burger, not overwhelmed by the cheese, onions, lettuce (lettuce can't overwhelm very well, maybe only air?), tomato, and the obligatory ketchup and mustard. The bun was not memorable, the fries decent and plentiful. Overall this was a tasty burger, certainly better than average, but nothing special.

One of my fellow adventurers was horribly ill the next day. I felt great. It was a large burger and a lot of food, with a few pints I felt quite full and not quite right for a little while after, but experienced nothing resembeling food poisoning. My burger was also medium rare, because I like meat, not medium well like his because he's an idiot.

It's a good bar with decent, but not great food. The Waterfront Alehouse is only a few blocks away.

Molly's.......by default

Originally the plan was to go to Shake Shack to try one of the most hyped burgers in the city......but since it was Thursday and in the 70's we needed a back up......sure enough as we entered the park the line was to the other side of the park......about a 45 minute wait just to order......SS burger better be the best goddamn burger out there but that is for another time......

Molly's is an old Irish pub style place nothing fancy, darkly lit, and such......this would be the first place we would use our score cards to actually be able to compare one place to another going forward.......saw dust on floor...a plus in my book and a waitress that spoke like she was just off the boat to further add to the Irish pub experience.......of course guinness on tap....the seating was crowded in the booth section they were made for 2 people not 4 and the condiment selection was just mustard and heinz 57......beer selection 10 on tap and about as many in the bottle.....the fries needed salt though were a good wedge style size....good crispiness for a wedge though the amount was a bit on the short side.......the bun nothing special there at all.....the burger was a big size and at first glance I thought was well done....this seemed more to do with the lighting than anything else.....the holdtogetherness also seemed at first to be an issue but mine lasted long into the meal.....juiciness.....none....pickles a bit of an oddity in that they came in two giant wedges that you can't put on the burger itself.....not much of a help.

The bathroom I was told was not up to par but I didn't see it myself......

The overall score for this establishment is a 53 out of a possible95.......right in the middle of the road......nothing special here........

A word of caution........as of the morning after one of our team has come down with what appears food poisoning......now this could be from anything and since we all ate basically the same burgers (his was medium well the other two medium rare) it's hard to say it was from the food there......but.......he has thrown up twice during the night and feels like crap (as well as having issues with his craps) today and is currently lying down in a chair as I write this review.........

Molly's

This place FAILS in every way. I got terrible food poisoning. The following day was terrible.

Don't go to this fucking shithole.

WATERFRONT ALE HOUSE

This local joint is located in mid-town (at least to me).....and is a fine, fine burger......first things first...guinness on tap always a plus, not to mention 15 or so other beers on tap....the condiments were readily available on the windowsills with many choices of mustard and such.......the establishment itself is an old local tavern type hangout with a waitress to match.....good service and friendly......

Now the burger was about as good as any other I have consumed......but being hungry and as time passes I am having problems doing a fair comparison.....the fries delicious, the burger cooked just right (medium rare), the environment friendly and casual.

I would put this burger joint a step below dumont burger and perhaps equal to corner bistro......we will have to work out a more mathematical way of comparing the burgers in the future.......overall an excellent burger and hangout joint......minuses its location.

Waterfront Ale House

A strong showing this week. The Waterfront Ale House is a pub on the corner of 30th and 2nd, boasting bad food, warm beer and an ugly owner. The burgers were so good they can easily get away with this.

It seemed to be full of regulars, mostly having an after work drink, indulging in (at least) one of the nineteen beers on tap. I'm always a little intimidated by beer menus of that stature...which to pick? I want to try them all, but I know I shouldn't and they probably won't let me.

The Ale House appears to be a standard pub, but between the beer selection and the burgers it is anything but. The service was very quick, we received our burgers much faster than expected. A stunning array of condiments, including home made hot sauce, home made barbeque sauce and something called "sauce" line the windows and ledges. The burger is served with waffle fries, lettuce, tomato, and a pickle. The bun is a tasty, flaky brioche. You can a variety of cheese, fried onions and chili to your burger. I can't resist fried onions and this is the cheeseburger society, so a melting of cheddar was in order.

The burger was a great ball of beef. They cooked it medium rare when medium rare when asked and cooked it more when (for reasons I cannot understand) asked. The burger was very juicy and had it's own distinct taste that was complimented, not overpowered by the cheese and onions. A quality that I've only really come to appreciate recently is the burger staying-togetherness. The Ale House burger stayed together better than any burger the society has tried yet. Few things are disappointing the way getting to the end of your burger, only to find it's a tomato stub, wilty lettuce and ketchup in a giant hunk of burger bun is. Each bite of this burger was tasty and balanced. This was a very satisying burger.

The Waterfront Ale House really delivered. The quest to find the greatest burger in New York may not be over (it may never be over) but I know we've gotten very close.

Waterfront Ale House

This place is great. They have tons of beer and there was no wait. The burgers were a full half-pound of awesome delicious tasty beef. The place itself is not flashy but also not shabby, more middle of the road pub style.

The burger was big and juicy with awesome condiments. The cheese tasted really good on the burger. Don't get the fried onions. They are a little too greasy. The bun was a very good brioche style bun. The fries were good but didn't come with enough salt and should have been seasoned. They had homemade hot sauce which wasn't insanely hot but tasted great and had a good kick to it. I poured a healthy dose of the hot sauce on my burger and it tasted great.

I will definitely go back to this place.

DuMont Burger

This place is great. Their burgers are amazing. Their Fries are good. Their beer is fresh and cold. The waitresses are cute. The ambiance is very pleasant.

The only thing that's bad is that the place is in Williamsburg and Williamsburg sucks. (we went to the one on Bedford)

The burger is so goddamn tasty at this place.

There are two burger choices on the menu: Big and Small. The larger burger has a brioche bun and the smaller one has a ciabatta bun. I like to get the big burger on the ciabatta bun.

I want another DuMont burger right now. I want to eat it like an animal and tear it to pieces and make a mess all over myself.

THIS IS THE BEST BURGER I CAN REMEMBER HAVING IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

DUMONT BURGER

It was one of the shittiest weeks as far as the weather in NYC was concerned........rain, rain and more rain......but upon leaving work and heading out to Williamsburg the sky opened up and the sun blazed through.....upon reflection it was a hint of things to come......

I am not a person who travels overseas if at all......so heading out to Williamsburg was no small feat in and of itself and a strike against any burger joint in my book.....but that's me.....so I may have had a chip on my shoulder.........

All worries were put aside once I saw someone elses order.......what can I say......this is a place that lived up to the hype my co-workers gave it........two burgers, no nonsense, pickles sliced and a wedge......right there says class.......fries perfect.......burger just right medium rare was medium rare.....the larger burger was just enough to satisfy my hunger but not too much to make me feel ill......this was the burger so far.

Now to top all this off guinness in a can not the perfect pour but acceptable......but the over the top part was a fucking vanilla shake at the end.....and get this with a large shot of baileys......named (by us) the baileyache......get it......get it.......now what else is there in life.

The only negative I can think of is there is only one bathroom and the joint is small......on the evening we were there it was empty (the ugly weather earlier had scared away the hipsters and the fear of what wet jeans may do to their circulation).......

In any case these are small issues for an excellent burger and fry joint..........

Royale

The experience had a very strong start. We each took turns ordering the "Royale with Cheese" then snickering at our incredible wit. We were just as cool as Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta. For real. We got our drink on and chilled on the just-opened-for-summer patio. Life was good.

The Royale experience quickly and comprehensively shit the bed as soon as the food showed up. My co-bloggers ordered medium rare burgers that looked exactly the same as my well done burger. The burger was unimpressive and lacked character and flavor. The fries looked really good but tasted bland.

I don't mean to imply that this place is totally awful, because it isn't. The bar itself is a pleasant place to hang out and the beer tasted just fine. The prices are totally reasonable. The food isn't actually bad, it's just that in the context of our mission to find the greatest burger in NYC, this place failed.

Royale

The best part of Royale burger? You get to order a Royale with cheese, eating it just isn't as much fun. The patio is nice. The beer was cold. The ketchup came in a squeeze bottle and the burger was juicy with mediocraty.

After the screaming success that was Corner Bistro, we opted for another inexpensive bar-style burger joint. Well reviewed and often compared to Corner Bistro we were excited for a repeat. Maybe it's because Corner Bistro kept you waiting in line or maybe it's because they got you drunk while they did; but by the time you finally get your prize you think it's one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten. But maybe, just maybe, that's because it is one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten you and everybody else waits in that line, hoping to be at the pinnacle of celebratory drunkeness by the time you're seated, knowing it's just a few minutes more till you're chomp chomp chomping those burgers down.

There was no line at Royale (there was a softball team of accounts, who, I'm certain the three of us could have slaughtered in a friendly game of softball, football, bowling, curling, standing, or any other competition othar than being an accountant). Medium rare was medium well. The buns were good, covered in a sesame seeds and a little flaky. The fries went well with the burger in that they looked good, but did not deliver.

Royale has been very well reviewed. I read a great reveiew in the times and dozens of reviews online. It reminds me of something George Carlin said, "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider".

ROYALE

Anyone remembering John Travolta's big come back movie Pulp Fiction will remember the scene with Samuel Jackson talking about the French and what they call a Big Mac.....Royale......unfortunately anyone dinning at the Royale will not be able to remember anything about the burgers or fries in this establishment.

The establishment itself....clean, outdoor seating (with heaters), and bathrooms all nice......the one negative.....the music.....too much Prince and Madonna.....actually that was all that was played the entire time we were there.......Guinness on tap a huge plus.......on to the good stuff or mediocre as the case was.........

The burgers......it was a plain burger....not bad.....not great.....just a burger.....all severed medium even though two ordered med rare and one well done......the fries.....lacking salt....cut from potatoe with some skin on them but they too fell to mediocrity...........

All in all nothing..........I could take it or leave it.......a true sign was after the first round of burgers my two companions declined to continue I forged ahead but had to leave the last few bites behind.......

I would not go out of my way to dine at this establishment the prices ok......and the meal ok......but time would be better spent watching Pulp Fiction.

Corner Bistro

This place was AWESOME! Especially compared to last week's debacle. The only thing I regret is that I didn't really learn anything this week.

The menu is simple enough that even foreigners and other brainless people with no brains should be able to order the food they really want. The only ambiguity was what the "bistro burger" consisted of, but the helpful staff was obviously prepared for our inquiry and briskly informed us that it's a burger with cheese AND bacon. Be careful when ordering wine in this place; one unfortunate patron in the next booth found out the hard way that if you ask for Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, you end up with generic red wine. Beer is easier to order and very cheap.

The venue is a no-nonsense feeding facility with fast moving lines and no frills. The place was totally packed at 7pm and we had to wait in line for around 20 minutes. Every square inch of the table we sat at was covered with both kinds of carved-graffiti: hilarious and vulgar. There was also some excellent bird watching for those not afraid of a dirty look or two.

The burger itself was a no-nonsense affair. A simple bun, cheese and deep fried bacon with the usual garnish of lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. Patty is thick and juicy and delicious. The fries are great though the portion is smallish.

Overall, I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. The shortcomings in the staff and the ambiance seem deliberate and just add to the experience. I will be going back...

Corner Bisro

A damn fine burger......straight and to the point.....not many choices....plain.....cheese or cheese and bacon.......mmmmmm.........not a whole lot else.....fries just the right amount. The burger was medium and the juices were flowing......mmmmmm.........not too much shit on it just the basics so you could actually take a bite of it. And the bacon fried.......this is the place to show up at 3 in the am and get your fix.

Actually ate two of the burgers and one order of fries.....awesome......a dump of a place.....no fucking around. Cleanliness not a high priority.....but come on......cheap burgers and beer can't be beat.....the wait is one factor but not by much since the bar is right there and beers are cheap.

Corner Bistro

This place does not fuck around. The menus are posted on the wall: burger, cheeseburger, bistro burger, fries. Ketchup, mustard and stack of napkins are strewn across the banged up tables, the only thing they serve that's not on the menu? Mayonnaise.

Yes, you will have to wait in line. Hopefully it's short enough that you aren't fall over drunk off $2.50 beers by the time you sit down, but you might be.

The burger is basic, bun out of a bag, cheese slice packaged individually, fries frozen, but hot smokey damn that loosely packed ground beef was delicious. Burger was tender and juicy, cooked in a pizza oven type deal, cooked medium it's still a little pink. Served with a tomato, droopy piece of iceberg lettuce and a few bread and butter pickles it looks at home on the little plastic plate that is dropped in front of you. It is surprisingly tasty, mine exploded while I ate it. Like the burgers, the fries don't appear to be anything special but were cooked to a perfect crisp and quite delicious. After last week's misadventure it was a pleasingly reasonable portion.

The bistro burger is served with cheese and delightfully crispy bacon. After mowing down our burgers we quickly ordered another round - apparently not that uncommon. These are not small burgers, but they are delicious and when you order the second, they make them extra good and let you sit around and digest for a hell of a lot longer than the regular onesies patrons.

I will return and I very much look forward to stumbling in at the unreasonably late hours they are open.

Rare

There is nothing "Rare" about stomach problems in my life. That being said, the terrible diarrhea that resulted from eating a pound of french fries and then the T-Bone steakburger at this place deserves recognition. The walk from the restaurant to the nearest bathroom 1.7 miles away at my office was one of the worst of my life. I felt like there was a balloon in my bowels that got fuller and fuller with each step.

Other than the problems outlined above, the burger itself was a masterpiece of indulgence and gluttony. The chef somehow covered every square millimeter of the patty with cheese and wrapped the entire concoction with bacon. The burger also had around 6 very greasy onion rings that hurt more than they helped (maybe 2 would have been better). The yogurt spread was bad.

Rare

Too much food before the quest even began.....never, ever, ever eat an appetizer consisting of mini-burgers and a shit load of fries......never.....ever......

When feeling sick stop eating even though the burger has not been fully consumed........and listen to the waitstaff when they tell you you've ordered too much food.

As for the burger....couldn't really tell you because I had no business ordering it and trying to eat it.....looked good, tasted good, a ton of choices, ended up spending 60 bucks because the burger was a tbone (20 bucks).

The restaurant itself....clean and had guinness on tap.

Rare

Irrefutable laws of nature established at the first outing of the Cheeseburger Society:

1. No appetizers, especially mini burgers, especially especially mini-burgers served with fries.
2. Absolutely, under no circumstances shall you order a three-kinds-of-fries-seven-goddamn-dipping-sauces-sampler-fucking-basket-for-four (for three).
3. If a waitress ever suggests that you have ordered too much food for the love of all that is holy listen to her.