Zaitzeff

It is a complete mystery to me how this could possibly make it on anyone's top ten list. Unless, I suppose, that top ten is is over-rated burger joints with weird locations, peculiar table configurations and no bathrooms, but I strongly doubt that. Putting Zaitzeff on your top ten list is criminal. You are not doing your job, so I need to eat more burgers. My scorecard totaled a measly 52.

The burger, frankly, was not very good. It was quite large, spilling out over the english muffin is was precariously wrapped in. The burger was overcooked, "we do everything medium". The fries were plentiful, and the mix of sweet potato with yukon gold is nice, but they were soggy and unsatisfying. Although advertised as Kobe beef, it was bland, uninteresting and suspiciously reminiscent of the bad bits of the cow.

The location did not help, the entire front was open to a particularly unappealing corner in new york. Although I was not brave enough to venture to the bathroom, I understand it was a complete disaster. The staff claimed they didn't have a bathroom, "but you can...." and trailed off pointing up the starts. I think you have to sneak past people chopping stuff and spreading swine flu.

The beer selection was small, but very cold, so that was great.

Sweet holy moses this place sucks.

Royale

The best part of Royale burger? You get to order a Royale with cheese, eating it just isn't as much fun. The patio is nice. The beer was cold. The ketchup came in a squeeze bottle and the burger was juicy with mediocraty.

After the screaming success that was Corner Bistro, we opted for another inexpensive bar-style burger joint. Well reviewed and often compared to Corner Bistro we were excited for a repeat. Maybe it's because Corner Bistro kept you waiting in line or maybe it's because they got you drunk while they did; but by the time you finally get your prize you think it's one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten. But maybe, just maybe, that's because it is one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten you and everybody else waits in that line, hoping to be at the pinnacle of celebratory drunkeness by the time you're seated, knowing it's just a few minutes more till you're chomp chomp chomping those burgers down.

There was no line at Royale (there was a softball team of accounts, who, I'm certain the three of us could have slaughtered in a friendly game of softball, football, bowling, curling, standing, or any other competition othar than being an accountant). Medium rare was medium well. The buns were good, covered in a sesame seeds and a little flaky. The fries went well with the burger in that they looked good, but did not deliver.

Royale has been very well reviewed. I read a great reveiew in the times and dozens of reviews online. It reminds me of something George Carlin said, "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider".