Bar Artisanal might be the one. This, dear reader, is precisely why this society is formed. Expectations were low. The large, designy dining room was empty, save for the masses of staff milling about. What few customers were there were not of our ilk; the hostess hemmed and hawed about seating us without a reservation. A few minutes at the bar and she managed to locate one of the dozens of empty tables for us. Dressed like the dickheads we are, we received shockingly good service from the bar, the waitstaff, the bus boys and whatever else the throngs of staff are. It's a new restaurant, we figured, it's empty we figured, they can't afford not be all over us, we figured. But, before eight, it was pretty packed, and although this would normally upset me greatly, it pleases me to know that they will almost certainly be around for a while.
Boasting a cheesebar that, um, has a helluva lot of fancy cheese that I know nothing about this was an atypical experience for burger club. They also had fried cheese, I know a little something about that. You can pick any of the cheesebar cheeses to cheeseup your burger.
The burger is fantastic. This is a burger you could eat with a wooden spoon and no teeth. The goddamn thing just melts in your mouth. This burger is as close to perfection as I have seen. I lost my score card, and I don't care, because it scored high, very high. I think the only category that it didn't score hgih was the "giving me three burgers so I can keep eating them" category which I just made up. It a month ago and I'm actualy salivating right now. The fries were great, delicious, crispy and just the right amount of a little too much salt.
For the last three burger club adventures all three of us, at some point, have said, "Let's just go back to Bar Artisinal." Good golly that was a good burger.
Showing posts with label financial district. Show all posts
Showing posts with label financial district. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Zaitzeff
It is a complete mystery to me how this could possibly make it on anyone's top ten list. Unless, I suppose, that top ten is is over-rated burger joints with weird locations, peculiar table configurations and no bathrooms, but I strongly doubt that. Putting Zaitzeff on your top ten list is criminal. You are not doing your job, so I need to eat more burgers. My scorecard totaled a measly 52.
The burger, frankly, was not very good. It was quite large, spilling out over the english muffin is was precariously wrapped in. The burger was overcooked, "we do everything medium". The fries were plentiful, and the mix of sweet potato with yukon gold is nice, but they were soggy and unsatisfying. Although advertised as Kobe beef, it was bland, uninteresting and suspiciously reminiscent of the bad bits of the cow.
The location did not help, the entire front was open to a particularly unappealing corner in new york. Although I was not brave enough to venture to the bathroom, I understand it was a complete disaster. The staff claimed they didn't have a bathroom, "but you can...." and trailed off pointing up the starts. I think you have to sneak past people chopping stuff and spreading swine flu.
The beer selection was small, but very cold, so that was great.
Sweet holy moses this place sucks.
The burger, frankly, was not very good. It was quite large, spilling out over the english muffin is was precariously wrapped in. The burger was overcooked, "we do everything medium". The fries were plentiful, and the mix of sweet potato with yukon gold is nice, but they were soggy and unsatisfying. Although advertised as Kobe beef, it was bland, uninteresting and suspiciously reminiscent of the bad bits of the cow.
The location did not help, the entire front was open to a particularly unappealing corner in new york. Although I was not brave enough to venture to the bathroom, I understand it was a complete disaster. The staff claimed they didn't have a bathroom, "but you can...." and trailed off pointing up the starts. I think you have to sneak past people chopping stuff and spreading swine flu.
The beer selection was small, but very cold, so that was great.
Sweet holy moses this place sucks.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Bobby Van's
A strong showing from a steakhouse. Not the type of place the Cheeseburger is used to, nor the type of society the place is used to. Expecting overpriced, and underperforming, I think we were all pleasantly surprised. I scored Bobby Van's at 77.
The burger was just enormous. Served with a giant pile of fries and fried onions. I love onion rings and fried onions, and this was the first place to serve them split by default. I like that. There was a bottle of their own steak sauce on the table. It was tasty, but a little on the sweet side and too runny to be very practical. No mustard was provided (none asked for though).
The burger was extremely high quality and cooked perfectly. Really good beef that is nice an pink in the middle is a luxury indeed. This may have been the largest burger we have encountered. It baffles me that they would insult such a fine ball of beef with a bun so terrible. Not only was the bun boring, generic and uninteresting, but it couldn't hold the damn thing together. This was very frustrating, by simply improving the bun, the whole experience would have been much better.
The bathrooms feature what must be the greatest paper towels every created. I would wear clothing made out of these.
We brought a guest on our adventure this week, a first for the Cheeseburger society. Turns our our guest pees like he's in grade two. Kevin started by asking us boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Results were mixed. Then he asked us over or through the hole in your underwear designed expressly to pull your penis through for urinating. Results were unanimous (except of course for our child-in-disguise). After much screaming and dirty looks from well to do patrons, Kevin attempted to convince us that he went over because briefs don't have the hole. When we demanded he show us his skivvies, he obliged. Naturally, the hole was right fucking there. Three grown men in a steakhouse pointed at his crotch demanding to know what that was, "a decorative pattern," he replied. What an idiot.
The burger was just enormous. Served with a giant pile of fries and fried onions. I love onion rings and fried onions, and this was the first place to serve them split by default. I like that. There was a bottle of their own steak sauce on the table. It was tasty, but a little on the sweet side and too runny to be very practical. No mustard was provided (none asked for though).
The burger was extremely high quality and cooked perfectly. Really good beef that is nice an pink in the middle is a luxury indeed. This may have been the largest burger we have encountered. It baffles me that they would insult such a fine ball of beef with a bun so terrible. Not only was the bun boring, generic and uninteresting, but it couldn't hold the damn thing together. This was very frustrating, by simply improving the bun, the whole experience would have been much better.
The bathrooms feature what must be the greatest paper towels every created. I would wear clothing made out of these.
We brought a guest on our adventure this week, a first for the Cheeseburger society. Turns our our guest pees like he's in grade two. Kevin started by asking us boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Results were mixed. Then he asked us over or through the hole in your underwear designed expressly to pull your penis through for urinating. Results were unanimous (except of course for our child-in-disguise). After much screaming and dirty looks from well to do patrons, Kevin attempted to convince us that he went over because briefs don't have the hole. When we demanded he show us his skivvies, he obliged. Naturally, the hole was right fucking there. Three grown men in a steakhouse pointed at his crotch demanding to know what that was, "a decorative pattern," he replied. What an idiot.
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