Zaitzeff

Here's the background......I was very hungry and didn't want to take the subway to midtown......so we opted for something near our work.......Zaitzeff was an establishment that fit this description and had received props from various other reviewers sooooooo.............

The best thing about Zaitzeff was its location to us and the fact that they had beer readily available......after that they went down hill.......where even to begin......beer....not many.....bathrooms......not for the public but we could use (?)...pickles.....none.....fries......pre-made and sitting out.......Kobe burger.....(yeah I fell for that whatever meat it was for 15.50) .......cooked to order...no only cooked one way (which was not told to us when we ordered)....juiciness since was not cooked they way I wanted.....was lacking..bun nothing there......condiments......yeah I think that was salt but was half rice and couldn't be shaken out of the shaker no matter how hard I tried.....fucking ketchup, right, that is apparently some unattainable commodity that only a few people were lucky enough to stumble upon..

Anyway I think you get the picture......this place is a hole in the wall and I can't understand why anyone would give this a good review yet alone place it on the top of the list.......overall rating a 41.

Zaitzeff

This place sucks hardcore. Don't waste any time going here. Go to Wendy's across the street for more value and better fries and condiments.

The Good:

They gave me a lot of fries (which was actually bad because the fries were shitty). The beer was served out of an ice bucket so it was cold and delicious. That is all.


The Bad:

There are three tables in the place. They don't have a public bathroom (they get a few points for letting me use the staff's bathroom upstairs, but come on). They only make burgers medium, which was okay for me, but sucks if you like your burger all juicy and shit. They didn't give me a pickle. They only had a few beers to pick from and only one of them was any good (Negra Modello). It was expensive. All their salt shakers were full of old rice and I couldn't properly salt my fries (which didn't come with ANY salt on them).

Overall Score: 35/100

Bobby Van's

Bobby Van's. Why the hell would you name a steakhouse this? Oh well. We walked in to the main restaurant area as opposed to the burger joint/bar they keep downstairs (it was busy with a private party). We were greeted by some guy who took my name and promised a table as soon as the rest of our party arrived. We had several drinks and then the guy delivered on his promise of a table.

I had a bunch of screwdrivers because I was getting sick. Let me tell you they were amazing until I found out they were $13. But since that didn't happen until we got the bill, it was all good.

I think the wait staff was a little upset that riff-raff like us were in their nice steakhouse wearing our shitty clothes, drinking beers and ordering burgers. That being said, the burgers were fucking awesome. The fries were fucking awesome. The fried onion bits were fucking awesome. The pickle was ok. The bun was fucking terrible. The service was really good despite our party not being their target clientelle.

This place is expensive. Be prepared. I gave it a really good score because the only bad things in my opinion were the cost and the bun. 85/100

Bobby Van's

A strong showing from a steakhouse. Not the type of place the Cheeseburger is used to, nor the type of society the place is used to. Expecting overpriced, and underperforming, I think we were all pleasantly surprised. I scored Bobby Van's at 77.

The burger was just enormous. Served with a giant pile of fries and fried onions. I love onion rings and fried onions, and this was the first place to serve them split by default. I like that. There was a bottle of their own steak sauce on the table. It was tasty, but a little on the sweet side and too runny to be very practical. No mustard was provided (none asked for though).

The burger was extremely high quality and cooked perfectly. Really good beef that is nice an pink in the middle is a luxury indeed. This may have been the largest burger we have encountered. It baffles me that they would insult such a fine ball of beef with a bun so terrible. Not only was the bun boring, generic and uninteresting, but it couldn't hold the damn thing together. This was very frustrating, by simply improving the bun, the whole experience would have been much better.

The bathrooms feature what must be the greatest paper towels every created. I would wear clothing made out of these.

We brought a guest on our adventure this week, a first for the Cheeseburger society. Turns our our guest pees like he's in grade two. Kevin started by asking us boxers, briefs, or boxer briefs? Results were mixed. Then he asked us over or through the hole in your underwear designed expressly to pull your penis through for urinating. Results were unanimous (except of course for our child-in-disguise). After much screaming and dirty looks from well to do patrons, Kevin attempted to convince us that he went over because briefs don't have the hole. When we demanded he show us his skivvies, he obliged. Naturally, the hole was right fucking there. Three grown men in a steakhouse pointed at his crotch demanding to know what that was, "a decorative pattern," he replied. What an idiot.

Bobby Vans

Short and to the point today......thought this was going to be overpriced and ok.......was wrong, burger was quite good only problem was the bun was lacking relative to the burger......maybe the cleanest bathrooms ever visited.....the fries where actually a combo of onion ring pieces (I say this because they weren't the whole onion ring) and fries......I am actually more of a fry guy than an onion so I would have liked to have more of the fries but such is life....

The atmosphere was typical steak house....and being right next to the NYSE made it all the more full of assholes in suits but we where treated pretty good.....although I don't think our waiter was too pleased with four of us all ordering burgers...........

Any how this establishment rates at a pretty high 76 despite my initial reservations...........

I Want a Black Iron Burger

This review is late, late, late. That's a shame, because the burger was great, great, great. With a score of 78.5, Black Iron Grill is makes a burger that you want to eat, and I want to eat another. A nice variety of craft beers are available - we were each recommended a different beer, and no one strayed for the course of the meal. The place was smallish and could surely get crowded, but our food arrived quickly and disappeared quickly.

The burger is a flat patty, unlike the aritsanal burgers you see in so many "good" burger joints. The patty is very tasty, and served as ordered, medium rare is medium rare and I like that. The bun, although a good brioche, seemed a little large, the double burger looked perfect. After I downed my burger, I was left wanting more. Maybe that's because it was just so good, but again, the double burger looks like the order to order.

The fry count was a little too responsible for my taste, I wanted more. Again, that could simply be because they are just very good, crispy and very well seasoned. Two types of mustards and seemingly uncountable ketchup bottles lined the walls. This was the first outting in which we each had our own ketchup bottle (we could have each had thirty).

Overall I was very satisfied. I would gladly reccomend Black Iron Burger. Get the double bacon burger. That may make me a glutton, but you're reading about cheeseburgers on the internet.

BLACK IRON BURGER

After last weeks shit show (literally for one of our group) I was eager to get back on track in pursuit of the perfect burger.......with score cards in hand we cabbed it to the lower east side establishment of Black Iron Burger.......a small pub with an old establishment feel to it........the service was good and the noise level was a non issue......the bathroom, as nice as the old wood was, had a very pissy smell to it and was only one room so it was a good thing the place was not crowded at all......on to the food and drink.....

The drink selection was nice (although they didn't have any type of guinness).....a different beer was suggested to each of us and since we all stayed with the original selection throughout the night they were right on target.......the burger was great......nice staytogetherness......juicy but not too much as to ruin the bun and medium-rare was medium rare......the bun was good as well.......the only thing to note is my one companion and I ended up splitting a second burger......after seeing another patron eating the double patty.....that would have been the perfect call......the fries were tasty as well although a bit on the low count......pickles......just one wedge.......not happy about that.....the condiments were plentiful if you just wanted 57 and mustard.......


This establishment was awarded a 79.5 on my rating scale out of a possible 100........overall a strong showing, I would place this little burger pub in the top 5 so far if not in the top 3.......