Landmarc in Tribeca

This place was pretty good, but not great. The best thing at this place is they cook the burgers on a grill you can see from the dining area. The burger was good but not memorable. I will probably completely forget this place exists within 30 seconds. Oh, and the server was a total douche. 65/100

Bar Artisanal

Bar Artisanal might be the one. This, dear reader, is precisely why this society is formed. Expectations were low. The large, designy dining room was empty, save for the masses of staff milling about. What few customers were there were not of our ilk; the hostess hemmed and hawed about seating us without a reservation. A few minutes at the bar and she managed to locate one of the dozens of empty tables for us. Dressed like the dickheads we are, we received shockingly good service from the bar, the waitstaff, the bus boys and whatever else the throngs of staff are. It's a new restaurant, we figured, it's empty we figured, they can't afford not be all over us, we figured. But, before eight, it was pretty packed, and although this would normally upset me greatly, it pleases me to know that they will almost certainly be around for a while.

Boasting a cheesebar that, um, has a helluva lot of fancy cheese that I know nothing about this was an atypical experience for burger club. They also had fried cheese, I know a little something about that. You can pick any of the cheesebar cheeses to cheeseup your burger.

The burger is fantastic. This is a burger you could eat with a wooden spoon and no teeth. The goddamn thing just melts in your mouth. This burger is as close to perfection as I have seen. I lost my score card, and I don't care, because it scored high, very high. I think the only category that it didn't score hgih was the "giving me three burgers so I can keep eating them" category which I just made up. It a month ago and I'm actualy salivating right now. The fries were great, delicious, crispy and just the right amount of a little too much salt.

For the last three burger club adventures all three of us, at some point, have said, "Let's just go back to Bar Artisinal." Good golly that was a good burger.

Bar Artisanal (Bar Art Is Anal)

This week we visited bar artisanal......which when originally suggested I thought it was some sick trendy art show or something......but I digress.......this establishment is located just south of canal near west broadway......it is a new place and looks very trendy......because of this I had the usual thoughts.....overpriced and not going to get good service or a good burger for that matter..........boy was I wrong on all counts.......

This place is awesome.......the burger cooked to order, awesome all I can say is awesome.....the bun I had small issue with, don't get me wrong it was delicious but kind of had some issues with it but not enough to worry about (I'm being too picky here).......the meat was awesome the fries were very crisp and needed no salting.........in a new twist we were allowed to choose any cheese from the cheese menu (yes there was a cheese menu) to put on our burgers......this was an unexpected delight........also we broke a small rule and had some apps olives and fried cheese......delicious........

The decor of the place is nice the bathrooms are clean and plentiful ...... I thought this place would not have a shot to remain opened because its so big but it was full by the time we left......

Whats more to say.......to top it off they were playing "Gigantic" by the Pixies while I was in the bathroom.......total class........this place gets a high 85 out of 100 despite the poor name choice.

Bar Artisinal

This place is so sweet you guys. There are lots of reasons why. The place is really nice and expensive looking. The female staff members are putting on a show and they look good. I guess the dudes are probably good at their jobs too, but who cares. In addition to the scenery, the food is really really good. If you keep the drink count low and just stick to burgers it's not very expensive either. I think I ranked it 82/100 but I lost my scorecard and am writing this review about a month late, but 82/100 makes sense.

The fried cheese thingies are delicious. Make sure you order some and make sure you dip them in the seasalt and pepercorns that are part of the delivery presentation. The burger is delicious and is clearly made by somebody who knows what he/she is doing. The same is true about the fries, they are crispy, delicious and salted perfectly.

I don't remember anything else about the place a month later, but the name deserves special attention. I mean, who in their right mind would name a restaurant "Bar Art is Anal." It makes you look ridiculous.

Sheep Station (THEY'VE GOT POUTINE)

For you poor culturally deficient bastards who don't know what poutine is: a heap of fries covered in cheese curds and smothered in gravy. It hails from Quebec, unlike juggling (Quebec's other notable cultural artifact), it isn't stupid, it isn't paid for by the government and almost no one outside of Canada knows what it is where to find it. There are a few places in New York that will indulge my poutine desire, all of which seem to be (at least) co-owned by a Canadian.

The poutine was not the only culinary curiosity. The burger came with a slew of exotic toppings, a beet, pineapple slice, and a fricken fried egg. I thought they were optional. I was extremely upset to find an egg dropped across my delicious burger, but, due to my otherwise calorie deficient meal (poutine+ several black and tans), I felt I should eat the burger, as presented, with the fired egg. You know, for health. And it was good. Fried eggs on foods have never applied to me (in France, they served pizza with a barley cooked egg on top, they called it "Le Cyclopse" (that's french for The Cyclops)). Anyhoo, all those things on the burger? Delicious. The burger? Delicious. The poutine? Didn't you read the first bit?! Delicious.

It's unfortunate that I lost my scorecard, because they'd get a pretty good score. This is not the best burger I've had on my magical journey, but it does have the most interesting toppings, and for christ's sake they have poutine. The beers were great, the black and tans poured perfectly and a large selection of Quebecois beers available. They even had a beer float! A scoop of vanilla ice cream in a goblet of La Terrible (French for The Terrible). Can you even imagine? A beer float!

Some burger joint in Park Slopeish aka Sheep Station

This will be another short and sweet review......the burger was good and was ordered with poo teen (no idea how to spell this but you get the picture)......this was my first experience with poo teen and I have to say it was very much loved (what's not to love about french fries covered with gravy and curdled cheese.....so far so good.....they had guinness on tap and I decided to go for a black and tan....a tasty treat.....

Now the burger is good the fries awesome and a good beer......where the night started to go wrong was when my two northerners decided the poo teen was such a hit to try other great white north items.......beers.......so straying from the black and tans and moving to some of our northern neighbors beers............don't do this ......... they basically all tasted like rusty water......all of them.....they were let down and convinced me to try a beer shake ........ this too was a let down......ever sense the bailey ache (a drink invented at one of our last stops) one just can't compete with a dessert of such quality.......

Overall I give this establishment a solid 77 out of 100.....if you are from the great north you will find this a great place to revisit some of your lost beers and sides......if you're from here stick to the fries.........

Sheep Station in Park Slope Brooklyn

This place is awesome. I've been here before but this is the first time I ordered the burger. Normally I just order many many beers and eat a Poutine. Poutine, for those who are woefully ignorant of the best barfood in the world, is made from twice fried french fries, cheese curds, and gravy. OK I know it sounds fucked up, but I assure you that after you eat it at 3 in the morning after drinking for 12 hours, you will tell me that I'm totally right and should probably get a medal for telling you about it. Read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine

The staff at this place know their beer very well and maintain their equipment and kegs flawlessly. The result is that all bears taste crisp, fresh and delicious. A welcome change from the norm. They have several kinds of strong Canadian beer that I really like to have the option of ordering. It was really funny to convince Shiva to order the beer float made from Terrible (a 10.5% dark belgian style beer). He hated it and it was funny to see his face cringe when he took sips of the beverage. I ordered the float a week earlier and really liked it after mixing the ice cream in well.

The Burger was really great. They put a fried egg on it which is a little unusual, but it totally worked. The burger itself was delicious and cooked exactly medium, as I requested.

The really great thing about this place was that I live 5 blocks away and I could go home and lay down immediately after we finished.

Overall Score: 80/100

Zaitzeff

It is a complete mystery to me how this could possibly make it on anyone's top ten list. Unless, I suppose, that top ten is is over-rated burger joints with weird locations, peculiar table configurations and no bathrooms, but I strongly doubt that. Putting Zaitzeff on your top ten list is criminal. You are not doing your job, so I need to eat more burgers. My scorecard totaled a measly 52.

The burger, frankly, was not very good. It was quite large, spilling out over the english muffin is was precariously wrapped in. The burger was overcooked, "we do everything medium". The fries were plentiful, and the mix of sweet potato with yukon gold is nice, but they were soggy and unsatisfying. Although advertised as Kobe beef, it was bland, uninteresting and suspiciously reminiscent of the bad bits of the cow.

The location did not help, the entire front was open to a particularly unappealing corner in new york. Although I was not brave enough to venture to the bathroom, I understand it was a complete disaster. The staff claimed they didn't have a bathroom, "but you can...." and trailed off pointing up the starts. I think you have to sneak past people chopping stuff and spreading swine flu.

The beer selection was small, but very cold, so that was great.

Sweet holy moses this place sucks.