The experience had a very strong start. We each took turns ordering the "Royale with Cheese" then snickering at our incredible wit. We were just as cool as Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta. For real. We got our drink on and chilled on the just-opened-for-summer patio. Life was good.
The Royale experience quickly and comprehensively shit the bed as soon as the food showed up. My co-bloggers ordered medium rare burgers that looked exactly the same as my well done burger. The burger was unimpressive and lacked character and flavor. The fries looked really good but tasted bland.
I don't mean to imply that this place is totally awful, because it isn't. The bar itself is a pleasant place to hang out and the beer tasted just fine. The prices are totally reasonable. The food isn't actually bad, it's just that in the context of our mission to find the greatest burger in NYC, this place failed.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Royale
The best part of Royale burger? You get to order a Royale with cheese, eating it just isn't as much fun. The patio is nice. The beer was cold. The ketchup came in a squeeze bottle and the burger was juicy with mediocraty.
After the screaming success that was Corner Bistro, we opted for another inexpensive bar-style burger joint. Well reviewed and often compared to Corner Bistro we were excited for a repeat. Maybe it's because Corner Bistro kept you waiting in line or maybe it's because they got you drunk while they did; but by the time you finally get your prize you think it's one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten. But maybe, just maybe, that's because it is one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten you and everybody else waits in that line, hoping to be at the pinnacle of celebratory drunkeness by the time you're seated, knowing it's just a few minutes more till you're chomp chomp chomping those burgers down.
There was no line at Royale (there was a softball team of accounts, who, I'm certain the three of us could have slaughtered in a friendly game of softball, football, bowling, curling, standing, or any other competition othar than being an accountant). Medium rare was medium well. The buns were good, covered in a sesame seeds and a little flaky. The fries went well with the burger in that they looked good, but did not deliver.
Royale has been very well reviewed. I read a great reveiew in the times and dozens of reviews online. It reminds me of something George Carlin said, "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider".
After the screaming success that was Corner Bistro, we opted for another inexpensive bar-style burger joint. Well reviewed and often compared to Corner Bistro we were excited for a repeat. Maybe it's because Corner Bistro kept you waiting in line or maybe it's because they got you drunk while they did; but by the time you finally get your prize you think it's one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten. But maybe, just maybe, that's because it is one of the best damn burgers you've ever eaten you and everybody else waits in that line, hoping to be at the pinnacle of celebratory drunkeness by the time you're seated, knowing it's just a few minutes more till you're chomp chomp chomping those burgers down.
There was no line at Royale (there was a softball team of accounts, who, I'm certain the three of us could have slaughtered in a friendly game of softball, football, bowling, curling, standing, or any other competition othar than being an accountant). Medium rare was medium well. The buns were good, covered in a sesame seeds and a little flaky. The fries went well with the burger in that they looked good, but did not deliver.
Royale has been very well reviewed. I read a great reveiew in the times and dozens of reviews online. It reminds me of something George Carlin said, "Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider".
ROYALE
Anyone remembering John Travolta's big come back movie Pulp Fiction will remember the scene with Samuel Jackson talking about the French and what they call a Big Mac.....Royale......unfortunately anyone dinning at the Royale will not be able to remember anything about the burgers or fries in this establishment.
The establishment itself....clean, outdoor seating (with heaters), and bathrooms all nice......the one negative.....the music.....too much Prince and Madonna.....actually that was all that was played the entire time we were there.......Guinness on tap a huge plus.......on to the good stuff or mediocre as the case was.........
The burgers......it was a plain burger....not bad.....not great.....just a burger.....all severed medium even though two ordered med rare and one well done......the fries.....lacking salt....cut from potatoe with some skin on them but they too fell to mediocrity...........
All in all nothing..........I could take it or leave it.......a true sign was after the first round of burgers my two companions declined to continue I forged ahead but had to leave the last few bites behind.......
I would not go out of my way to dine at this establishment the prices ok......and the meal ok......but time would be better spent watching Pulp Fiction.
The establishment itself....clean, outdoor seating (with heaters), and bathrooms all nice......the one negative.....the music.....too much Prince and Madonna.....actually that was all that was played the entire time we were there.......Guinness on tap a huge plus.......on to the good stuff or mediocre as the case was.........
The burgers......it was a plain burger....not bad.....not great.....just a burger.....all severed medium even though two ordered med rare and one well done......the fries.....lacking salt....cut from potatoe with some skin on them but they too fell to mediocrity...........
All in all nothing..........I could take it or leave it.......a true sign was after the first round of burgers my two companions declined to continue I forged ahead but had to leave the last few bites behind.......
I would not go out of my way to dine at this establishment the prices ok......and the meal ok......but time would be better spent watching Pulp Fiction.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Corner Bistro
This place was AWESOME! Especially compared to last week's debacle. The only thing I regret is that I didn't really learn anything this week.
The menu is simple enough that even foreigners and other brainless people with no brains should be able to order the food they really want. The only ambiguity was what the "bistro burger" consisted of, but the helpful staff was obviously prepared for our inquiry and briskly informed us that it's a burger with cheese AND bacon. Be careful when ordering wine in this place; one unfortunate patron in the next booth found out the hard way that if you ask for Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, you end up with generic red wine. Beer is easier to order and very cheap.
The venue is a no-nonsense feeding facility with fast moving lines and no frills. The place was totally packed at 7pm and we had to wait in line for around 20 minutes. Every square inch of the table we sat at was covered with both kinds of carved-graffiti: hilarious and vulgar. There was also some excellent bird watching for those not afraid of a dirty look or two.
The burger itself was a no-nonsense affair. A simple bun, cheese and deep fried bacon with the usual garnish of lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. Patty is thick and juicy and delicious. The fries are great though the portion is smallish.
Overall, I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. The shortcomings in the staff and the ambiance seem deliberate and just add to the experience. I will be going back...
The menu is simple enough that even foreigners and other brainless people with no brains should be able to order the food they really want. The only ambiguity was what the "bistro burger" consisted of, but the helpful staff was obviously prepared for our inquiry and briskly informed us that it's a burger with cheese AND bacon. Be careful when ordering wine in this place; one unfortunate patron in the next booth found out the hard way that if you ask for Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, you end up with generic red wine. Beer is easier to order and very cheap.
The venue is a no-nonsense feeding facility with fast moving lines and no frills. The place was totally packed at 7pm and we had to wait in line for around 20 minutes. Every square inch of the table we sat at was covered with both kinds of carved-graffiti: hilarious and vulgar. There was also some excellent bird watching for those not afraid of a dirty look or two.
The burger itself was a no-nonsense affair. A simple bun, cheese and deep fried bacon with the usual garnish of lettuce, tomato, onions and pickles. Patty is thick and juicy and delicious. The fries are great though the portion is smallish.
Overall, I enjoyed the experience thoroughly. The shortcomings in the staff and the ambiance seem deliberate and just add to the experience. I will be going back...
Corner Bisro
A damn fine burger......straight and to the point.....not many choices....plain.....cheese or cheese and bacon.......mmmmmm.........not a whole lot else.....fries just the right amount. The burger was medium and the juices were flowing......mmmmmm.........not too much shit on it just the basics so you could actually take a bite of it. And the bacon fried.......this is the place to show up at 3 in the am and get your fix.
Actually ate two of the burgers and one order of fries.....awesome......a dump of a place.....no fucking around. Cleanliness not a high priority.....but come on......cheap burgers and beer can't be beat.....the wait is one factor but not by much since the bar is right there and beers are cheap.
Actually ate two of the burgers and one order of fries.....awesome......a dump of a place.....no fucking around. Cleanliness not a high priority.....but come on......cheap burgers and beer can't be beat.....the wait is one factor but not by much since the bar is right there and beers are cheap.
Corner Bistro
This place does not fuck around. The menus are posted on the wall: burger, cheeseburger, bistro burger, fries. Ketchup, mustard and stack of napkins are strewn across the banged up tables, the only thing they serve that's not on the menu? Mayonnaise.
Yes, you will have to wait in line. Hopefully it's short enough that you aren't fall over drunk off $2.50 beers by the time you sit down, but you might be.
The burger is basic, bun out of a bag, cheese slice packaged individually, fries frozen, but hot smokey damn that loosely packed ground beef was delicious. Burger was tender and juicy, cooked in a pizza oven type deal, cooked medium it's still a little pink. Served with a tomato, droopy piece of iceberg lettuce and a few bread and butter pickles it looks at home on the little plastic plate that is dropped in front of you. It is surprisingly tasty, mine exploded while I ate it. Like the burgers, the fries don't appear to be anything special but were cooked to a perfect crisp and quite delicious. After last week's misadventure it was a pleasingly reasonable portion.
The bistro burger is served with cheese and delightfully crispy bacon. After mowing down our burgers we quickly ordered another round - apparently not that uncommon. These are not small burgers, but they are delicious and when you order the second, they make them extra good and let you sit around and digest for a hell of a lot longer than the regular onesies patrons.
I will return and I very much look forward to stumbling in at the unreasonably late hours they are open.
Yes, you will have to wait in line. Hopefully it's short enough that you aren't fall over drunk off $2.50 beers by the time you sit down, but you might be.
The burger is basic, bun out of a bag, cheese slice packaged individually, fries frozen, but hot smokey damn that loosely packed ground beef was delicious. Burger was tender and juicy, cooked in a pizza oven type deal, cooked medium it's still a little pink. Served with a tomato, droopy piece of iceberg lettuce and a few bread and butter pickles it looks at home on the little plastic plate that is dropped in front of you. It is surprisingly tasty, mine exploded while I ate it. Like the burgers, the fries don't appear to be anything special but were cooked to a perfect crisp and quite delicious. After last week's misadventure it was a pleasingly reasonable portion.
The bistro burger is served with cheese and delightfully crispy bacon. After mowing down our burgers we quickly ordered another round - apparently not that uncommon. These are not small burgers, but they are delicious and when you order the second, they make them extra good and let you sit around and digest for a hell of a lot longer than the regular onesies patrons.
I will return and I very much look forward to stumbling in at the unreasonably late hours they are open.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Rare
There is nothing "Rare" about stomach problems in my life. That being said, the terrible diarrhea that resulted from eating a pound of french fries and then the T-Bone steakburger at this place deserves recognition. The walk from the restaurant to the nearest bathroom 1.7 miles away at my office was one of the worst of my life. I felt like there was a balloon in my bowels that got fuller and fuller with each step.
Other than the problems outlined above, the burger itself was a masterpiece of indulgence and gluttony. The chef somehow covered every square millimeter of the patty with cheese and wrapped the entire concoction with bacon. The burger also had around 6 very greasy onion rings that hurt more than they helped (maybe 2 would have been better). The yogurt spread was bad.
Other than the problems outlined above, the burger itself was a masterpiece of indulgence and gluttony. The chef somehow covered every square millimeter of the patty with cheese and wrapped the entire concoction with bacon. The burger also had around 6 very greasy onion rings that hurt more than they helped (maybe 2 would have been better). The yogurt spread was bad.
Rare
Too much food before the quest even began.....never, ever, ever eat an appetizer consisting of mini-burgers and a shit load of fries......never.....ever......
When feeling sick stop eating even though the burger has not been fully consumed........and listen to the waitstaff when they tell you you've ordered too much food.
As for the burger....couldn't really tell you because I had no business ordering it and trying to eat it.....looked good, tasted good, a ton of choices, ended up spending 60 bucks because the burger was a tbone (20 bucks).
The restaurant itself....clean and had guinness on tap.
When feeling sick stop eating even though the burger has not been fully consumed........and listen to the waitstaff when they tell you you've ordered too much food.
As for the burger....couldn't really tell you because I had no business ordering it and trying to eat it.....looked good, tasted good, a ton of choices, ended up spending 60 bucks because the burger was a tbone (20 bucks).
The restaurant itself....clean and had guinness on tap.
Rare
Irrefutable laws of nature established at the first outing of the Cheeseburger Society:
- No appetizers, especially mini burgers, especially especially mini-burgers served with fries.
- Absolutely, under no circumstances shall you order a three-kinds-of-fries-seven-goddamn-dipping-sauces-sampler-fucking-basket-for-four (for three).
- If a waitress ever suggests that you have ordered too much food for the love of all that is holy listen to her.
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